从恩师到密友：你令爱了不起,本文是从恩师到密友类毕业论文模板范文和你令爱了不起和密友和恩师有关在职毕业论文范文.
从恩师到密友论文参考文献：
During my first year in college, I was silent. Inever skipped class and read every page assigned tome, but I didn’tspeak. My curiosity was insatiable,and I spent many quiet hours in the library, readingand thinking, but I was so afraid of failing, so waryof my physical presence in the world that I satmutely in lectures, scribbling in my notebook andmarveling at how articulate everyone else seemedto be.
During my sophomore year I declared a reli原gion major and took a class from Barbara, ayoung theologian. As my mind was split open bya range of new thinkers and writers, and by thequality of Barbara’squestions, I finally had some原thing to say. I started talking, and then I couldn’tstop. I was a frequent visitor during Barbara’sof原fice hours, a rocket of words. She listened, calmlyresponded and helped me organize my erraticthoughts.
I spent my junior year in Dublin, and thatspring Barbara sent me an email announcing thebirth of her daughter. I quickly typed a note ofcongratulations and wandered to a nearby coffeeshop, feeling strangely weepy. I realized that Iloved Barbara for the ways in which she reflectedan ideal version of who I wanted to be. What didI know, if anything, about her life？
Gradually, I learned more. During my senioryear, when Barbara was my thesis advisor, I washer daughter’sbabysitter. That year, when I wasawarded a Fulbright scholarship, I sprinted toBarbara’s office in the basement of the schoolchapel. We whooped loudly, our voices echoingscandalously out of tune with the school choirpracticing upstairs.
Over the intervening years I visited Bar原bara’s family home in Palo Alto, California,when she and her husband took teaching jobs atStanford, watched her much older girl fall in lovewith sharks and Disney and later, Dance Revolu原tion. Barbara wrote me countless letters of recom原mendation as I skipped around the country, firstfor social service jobs and later for graduateschool in theology and writing.
Our relationship gradually deepened, but I was always conscious of a teacher-student dy原namic. We were always slightly cautious,both abit guarded. This changed fundamentally when Ibecame a parent.
When I had my son in March 2010, Barbarawas one of the first to congratulate me. Whenmy child was diagnosed with Tay-Sachs diseasenine months later, she wrote me a letter—hand原written, on a white legal pad. My son died be原fore he turned 3, and Barbara wrote me regularletters for the two and half years of his illness；remarkable letters that are revealing, loving andkind. Honest. Full of rage and searching.
When I began writing about my son and mygrief experience in a very public blog format,beering away on essays long into the night,Barbara responded to each one. Her husband wasworried, she wrote, that reading my posts andpeering so deeply into another’sdespair wouldupset her.
Each week Barbara responded to the work原ings of an inner life of which she had been oneof the primary architects. I posted essays nearlyevery day in 2011, and I waited for Barbara’sletters, the familiar handwriting and Palo Altoaddress, with the same anticipation of decadesbefore when I had eagerly skipped to the backpage to read her notes on a theology paper.Barbara’sletters were not just about mywork and what was happening with my son, butabout her life as well. At first she worried aboutdiscussing the family vacation and the events ofher daily life because she didn’twant to boreme, or hurt me, or make me feel rage. But Iwanted to know, I wrote back. I wanted to peer into the life of someone whose family and chil原dren weren’tfalling apart.
In one letter written with visibly shakyhandwriting during a turbulent plane ride, I be原gan to realize that I hadn’t really known her atall—not until now—when she revealed moreabout herself than she ever had. Last summershe wrote, “I’m sending you lots of love andpositive thoughts. Hope you feel it.”I did, andI do.
Yes, we had decades of shared history be原hind us, but now we had truly gotten to knowand love one another as women, thinkers, moth原ers；in a word, equals. This switch from youth原ful adoration to a more nuanced relationship in原cluded an element of loss. I was no longeryoung, foolishly believing that possibilities wereendless. Our correspondence signaled an adultawareness of mortality, that death is always clos原er than we think. Our relationship had evolved,grown up.
The most recent letter was the most person原al, and perhaps the most profound. She told methe story about her daughter’sbirth, one thatwould never he been included in an emailannouncement. After her daughter was born, shewas taken away and a nurse arrived to take careof Barbara, to wash and comfort her. “Timeseemed to stop,”she wrote,“and this moment inwhich the flow of time seemed to be completelysuspended, my thought was this：this is a bap原ti, and this is the moment when I become aparent, this is the anointing.”She went on to saythat she believed my experience of parenting aterminally ill child had made me a better person,not in a superficial, moralistic sense, but“I thinkhe’ade you better by opening up the greatfire of your love”with his “all but magnifi原cent existence.”I he never in my life read amore deeply comforting sentence, one that spoketo my grandest hopes, my deepest fears, and theonly faith that remains to me, which is a beliefin chaos. Our love had bloomed and deepened；from a guarded mutual respect to a richer, deep原er friendship.
In this letter, written almost exactly twoyears after the first, Barbara writes, “Be strong,be weak—whatever you need. It is a holy andfrightening time, but you are not alone.”I feltconnected to another person by a long line ofknowing, and understood that this watchful ob原servation, this witness, is the only way to miti原gate the vast loneliness of grief. I realized withrelief and gratitude that on those cool autumnnights 20 years ago as I marched across campusafter class, my head down, stomach grinding,heart pounding, feeling so singular, so lonely, sosilent and terrified and contained and yet also,brimming, I was not—and never he been—alone.
在念大学的第一年,我沉默寡言.我从不逃课,认真阅读课业布置给我的每一页书,但我不说话.我的好奇心从不满足,我在图书馆里度过了许多安静时光,读书和思考,但我极害怕失败,对于在世人面前展现自己的实体存在极为谨慎,因此总是一言不发地坐在课堂上,在我的笔记本上写写划划,同时为其他每个人看起来如此能言善辩而惊叹不已.
在大二那年,我申请主修宗教,并选了一门芭芭拉的课,她是一位年轻的神学家.一大串新思想家和作家的书作,还有芭芭拉的精辟提问,给我的头脑带来深深的震撼,我终于觉得有话可说了.我开始发言,然后就一发不可收拾.在芭芭拉的办公时间,我常去造访,成了个滔滔不绝的“话痨”.她倾听着,平静地回答,帮我组织凌乱的思路.
我在都柏林度过了大三时光,那年春天,芭芭拉给我发了一封邮件,告诉我她的女儿出生了.我很快打出了一封祝贺信,并溜达到附近的一间咖啡店,心里却莫名地难过.我意识到自己很爱芭芭拉为人处世的方式,她就是一个理想典范,代表我想成为的那个样子.可是我对她的生活哪有什么了解呢？
渐渐地,我知道了更多事情.在我大四那年,芭芭拉是我的论文导师,我则是她女儿的保姆.那一年,当我被授予富布莱特奖学金时,我飞奔到芭芭拉位于学校教堂地下室的办公室.我们高声大叫着,那刺耳的回声与当时在楼上练习的学校唱诗班的歌声完全不协调.
其后的几年,我拜访了芭芭拉位于加利福尼亚州帕罗奥图市的家,那时她和丈夫在斯坦福大学教书,看着她那已经长大不少的女儿爱上鲨鱼、迪士尼,之后还有“舞蹈革命”.当我于全国各地游历时,芭芭拉为我写了不计其数的推荐信,起初是社会服务方面的工作,其后是研究生院的神学和写作工作.
我们的感情日益加深,但我总觉得那是一种师生关系.我们总是略带小心,两个人都有所保留.而当我为人母亲之时,这一关系发生了根本性的改变.
我的儿子于2010 年3 月出生,芭芭拉是最先向我道贺的人之一.九个月后,我的孩子被诊断出患有泰—萨克斯症,当时,她给我写了一封信———手写的,在一个白色的拍纸簿上.我儿子在不到三岁时就去世了,而芭芭拉在他生病的这两年半里定期和我通信；这些非同寻常的信件充满了启迪、爱心和友善.真诚.充满了愤怒和求索.
当我开始在公开的博客上写下儿子的情况和我的悲痛经历,潜心撰文直至夜深时,她对我的每篇文章一一回复.她写道,读我的帖子,并且如此深入地窥视他人的绝望,这会让她伤心难过,而她的丈夫对此感到很担忧.
每个星期,芭芭拉都会对一个人内心世界的作品作出回复,而她正是这个世界最初的建筑师之一.在2011 年,我几乎每天都会发帖,同时等待芭芭拉的来信,等待那熟悉的笔迹和帕罗奥图的地址,这份期待,如同数十年前我迫不及待地翻跳至一篇神学论文的最后一页,去阅读她的评语时的感受一般.
芭芭拉的来信不仅只与我的工作和我儿子的情况相关,她也会讲述自己的生活.最初,她对讨论她家的假日生活和她的日常生活小事感到有所顾虑,因为她不想烦扰我,或伤害我,或让我感到愤怒.但我想知道,我回信说.我也想窥探他人的生活,一个家庭和子女并未分崩离析的人的生活.
在某封写于遭遇气流的飞机上、字迹明显歪歪扭扭的回信中,我开始意识到,我其实并未真正了解她———在此之前———在她前所未有地更多地展现自己之前.去年夏天,她写道：“我将给你寄去许许多多的爱和积极思想.希望你能感受得到.”我感受到了,现在亦如是.
不错,我们认识了数十年,但如今我们真真正正地开始以女人、思想者和母亲的身份去爱对方；简单地说,平等互爱.这种从年轻时的敬爱到一种更为微妙关系的转变包涵了一种失去.我已不再年轻,不再傻傻地相信机会无限.我们的来往信件象征了一种成人对死亡的认知,即死亡总是比我们所想的更近.我们的关系已然进化,并业已成熟.
最近收到的一封信,其内容是最为私密的,或许也是最为意义深远的.她告诉我关于她女儿出生的故事,这个故事永远不会在一封宣布孩子出生的喜讯邮件里出现.在她女儿出生并被抱离后,一名护士前来照顾芭芭拉,为她洗浴,舒缓疼痛.“时间似乎停止了,”她写道,“而在那一刻,时间的流逝似乎完全停滞,我的想法如下：这是一场洗礼,而在这一刻我变成了一位家长,这便是受膏仪式.”她继续说,她相信我养育绝症患儿的经历已让我成为了一个更高尚的人,不是在肤浅和说教的层面上,而是“我认为他用其微小却壮丽的存在”为你“开启了爱的熊熊烈火从而让你变得更好”.我这一辈子从未读过一句更能带来深层安慰的句子,一句话道尽了我最大的希望,我最深的恐惧,还有残留给我的唯一信仰,那是一种混沌中的信念.我们的爱喷薄而出并深入心灵,从一种有所保留的互相尊重发展成一种更丰富、更深刻的友谊.
写这封信的时间距离第一封差不多刚好两年,芭芭拉在信中写道：“要坚强,也要软弱———你需要怎样便怎样.这是个神圣而且让人恐惧的时刻,但你并不孤单.”我感到自己与另一个人因长期了解而紧密相连,并明白这种审慎的观察、这种智慧是唯一减缓悲伤中那巨大孤独感的方法.我满心宽慰且感激地意识到,在20 年前那些清凉的秋夜里,当我课后独自行走于校园时,我脑袋低垂,腹中翻搅,心跳急遽,感觉如此怪异,如此孤独,如此沉默和恐惧,克制自己,同时又情感满溢,但我并不———也从不———孤单.
该文总结,该文是一篇大学硕士与从恩师到密友本科从恩师到密友毕业论文开题报告范文和相关优秀学术职称论文参考文献资料，关于免费教你怎么写你令爱了不起和密友和恩师方面论文范文.
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